Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
