No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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