Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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