Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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