And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
