I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
