I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize