I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
