Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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