I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
