They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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