One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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