yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
there is puke in my bra ... again
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