she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I just shit out all my problems.
its liver damage thursday
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
