That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have demons in me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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