Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize