Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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