she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
