so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize