By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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