I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
