i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
