just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
