we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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