I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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