The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize