I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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