We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
