is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
