Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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