Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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