i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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