New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
