haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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