cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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