dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize