well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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