wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
