...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
