Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When are your genitals available?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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