She's JV to your varsity
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
