Whod you bang
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
