I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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