All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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