yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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