Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
be right there i have to get my cape
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
