if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We are two peas in an std pod
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
