so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize