I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
