Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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