So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
