My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
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I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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