Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
