And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize