You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
