laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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