I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
