I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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